If you read Joseph Degroot's story earlier, you know that KISS is rereleasing its classic album Love Gun later this year. It's an album that kickstarted the trend of "weapons + love" in the music industry, so we assembled a few that followed the formula, ranked from least to most dangerous.
06) Love Gun by KISS (1977)
The sixth album from the heavy metal icons has become one of its most critically acclaimed, despite lacking singles on the same level as Destroyer. The album's best part, with no offense to the music, was that it came with a cardboard "love gun" for fans to assemble and presumably recreate their childhoods with. You'll notice that there are no Shakespearean tracks in this list that feature obvious "love swords," but we're willing to bet there's an alternate meaning to the title track. More disturbing than that however is album opener "I Stole Your Love," also written by Paul Stanley.
05) Laser Love by After The Fire (1979)
There are two less-than-classic tracks that carry this title. The other, by T. Rex, uses lasers in a less dangerous fashion so we're sticking with After The Fire's track. But more importantly: This new wave track also uses copious '70s sci-fi laser sounds to get the theme across. It's tough to judge how dangerous a laser is—are we talking lightsaber or full-on Death Star?—but vocalist Andy Piercey declares "your love is like a laser burning right into my life." Yikes, sounds more like a James Bond setup:
Bond: "Do you expect me to talk?"
Goldfinger: "No but Mr. Bond I expect you to love me!"
04) Love Grenade by Ted Nugent (2007)
We all know that Ted Nugent is avidly pro-gun (and bow 'n' arrow for what it's worth). Although his political commentary tends to get too much coverage, the album cover for Love Grenade did not get nearly enough: A nude woman kneeling on a platter with her hands tied behind her back and the title explosive in her mouth as a garnish. The lyrics to the title track suggest it's just another analogy for lovemaking prowess, but explain that after looking at the album art. It would later be changed to feature just a grenade with a Susan Komen-style pink ribbon on the front...so no one was upset anymore, we're sure. We cannot put enough emphasis on the repeated lyric "sex shrapnel, sex shrapnel" during the outro.
03) Love Bomb by The Tubes (1985)
Love Bomb was received by critics as representing the latter part of the title more so than the former. Part of it might have been that producer Todd Rundgren was hogging all of the love behind the scenes. Drummer Prairie Prince and keyboardist Vince Welnick left the group to join Rundgren's touring band and the album would end up being The Tubes' last on a major label. This also marks the only album on this list that doesn't have a title track. Disapointing!
02) Bomb of Love - Music for Safada Hearts Romance by Silvia Machete (2007)
Okay, so we've already done a "Love Bomb" album and this doesn't even fit the "_______ Bomb" formula we've tried to adhere to thus far, but consider the performer in question. Her last name is Machete, and she's singing about bombs. This may be the most dangerous performer in the world (apologies to Public Enemy). This Brazilian is not only a singer/songwriter...she's also an established juggler and aerial performer. In other words, she's Jinx from Batman. And a fairly good musician at that.
01) Landmine of Love by Remade
A lot of love-splosions happening on today's list. When taking all of the min consideration, we had to give the prize for most dangerous weapon to Greek alt-rockers Remade. Ironically, the band is also one of the least dangerous sounding groups included on this list. The schematic of their weapon of loving mass destruction is displayed on the EP's cover, clearly demonstrating a landmine wired, not to an explosive device, but to a human heart. What happens when it gets triggered? The heart explodes we suppose, resulting in the second most violent literal interpretation of any of these covers (Nugent still wins).
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