Good news out of Eastern Europe today, as a group of the continent's leaders announced that a ceasefire had been reached between the government of Ukraine and the rebellious faction in the southeast of the country.
Of course that only means so much. The most eager speaker of the four leaders gathered in Belarus was Vladimir Putin, who has been coy about admitting Russia's role in supplying both troops and weapons to the rebel forces in Crimea and elsewhere (Germany's Angela Merkel, France's François Hollande and Ukraine's Petro Poroshenko also attended). If his word is to be taken for anything, you can probably hedge bets that shots will be fired soon enough. After all, the last time the parties arrived at a ceasefire (September of 2014), it had collapsed by the end of the year.
Other things that won't be surprising when they collapse: The reunions of these beloved bands.
The Eagles
Full disclosure: The next time the Eagles "break up," it won't be because they can't stand each other. It will be because they've reached the threshold of how much money one can possibly acquire (in science we call this "absolute -000s") by way of rock music. But don't let us be misunderstood: Aside from generally nice guy/guitarist Joe Walsh, the band seemed to be done as far back as 1980. And then, despite a decade of statements to the contrary, they reformed during 1994 for the appropriately titled "Hell Freezes Over" tour. They stuck together for a good seven years before the rest of the band decided to kick out Don Felder who, along with Glenn Frey, tended to be the most militant one in the band. He brought a lawsuit, which was settled out of court five years later. Somehow the band still manages to at least pretend to like each other onstage (essentially like they were doing for most of the '70s), proving once and for all that enjoying your job is not more important than the money you make doing it.
The Libertines
The alternative rock world was thrilled to hear that The Libertines would be reuniting for a run of 2015 shows, following more than a decade of sparse showings. The band was troubled by one of the same problems the Eagles dealt with: multiple talented individuals. One of which who just happened to have a raging drug problem. The Libertines were at the top of the world following the release of Up The Bracket until Personality A Carl Barât told Personality B Pete Doherty to clean up his act or get out, preventing him from touring with the group. Doherty responded responsibly by robbing his bandmate's apartment and selling the loot for drug money. This wasn't enough to get him kicked out outright, so the band recorded a second album The Libertines, while both parties hired separate security to keep them away from each other's throats. The band "finally" (after two or so years together) split, with Barât recording with the Dirty Pretty Things and Doherty playing with Babyshambles. The pair abruptly played a show during 2010 and then things fell through for another four years. Don't expect them to linger together too long. It won't be because of egos, but both can make a living not rocking with the other.
The Wu-Tang Clan
The Wu-Tang Clan is like a moss...although simultaneously made up of many individual plant organisms, it is also one giant organism/colony. It may grow or shrink depending on the environment at the time. We'll make this biology metaphor even more confusing/inaccurate by suggesting that at some point around 1995 the Wu-moss sent out a load of spores, or solo albums. Many of them—such as GZA's Liquid Swords and Ol' Dirty Bastard's Return to the 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version—were pretty great albums. One found especially fertile soil however: Only Built 4 Cuban Linx by Raekwon and Ghostface Killah, presumably because Raekwon is the best emcee among the collective. The problem with this scenario is that it gave Rae the leverage to demand more influence on the direction of Wu-Tang records and he uses/used his status to do whatever the heck he wants. RZA is traditionally the one running the show in the studio thanks to his role as the producer but he always has to drag Raekwon kicking into every project. Although the Wu has technically produced two new albums in the last year, don't expect a tour: Raekwon and Ghostface have a 20th anniversary to celebrate by themselves for Cuban Linx.
Scott Weiland...and Stuff
Scott Weiland's problem with holding down most bands is that he doesn't realize that other band members contribute stuff too and generally deserve some sort of consideration. He didn't have side projects to bother him during the Stone Temple Pilots first run, just drugs. He and the DeLeo brothers eventually had run-ins, leading to the cancellation of the band during 2001 (and officially during 2003). We'll come back to them. He later joined up with former Guns 'N Roses Slash and Duff McKagan because, you know, they had experience with egomaniac vocalists. Velvet Revolver would release two smash albums before Weiland decided to go back to Stone Temple Pilots. During a 2008 show, he let fans know that the band would be breaking up following the tour. Which was news to the rest of the band. So now he's cruising along just fine in STP for a few years, and then decides he's going to do a tour with his solo band The Wildabouts. The DeLeos, who of course had written most of STP's music, fired him when he wouldn't focus on his main source of income. He attempted to continue using the name and was consequently sued. Then he said he was about ready to rejoin Revolver. Unfortunately, they weren't interested. Then he joined former members of Disturbed and the neu Guns N' Roses to form Art of Anarchy. Then he said he wasn't actually in the band, just got paid to do some recordings. Moral of the story: Nothing featuring Scott Weiland can last long anymore. The Wildabouts shouldn't be surprised when he leaves them on the side of the road.
X
X was simply one of the best punk bands to come out of Los Angeles during the '80s, and that's saying something. If you consider the band's relatively wide palette as "punk." Los Angeles, Under The Big Black Sun...you name it. And then guitarist Billy Zoom left at the height of the band's creative peak because...it wasn't selling enough albums. Which is about as un-punk as you get. The they reformed for a five-year run during the '90s. Then they went on hiatus again. The band had formed the group The Knitters once Zoom left during the '80s, and then they reformed that band again during 2005. Finally, during 2008, X played at SXSW and then Coachella during 2009. Based on all of these interruptions alone, we wouldn't be surprised to see X dissolve at any moment. Add Exene Cervenka to the mix, and things could get really messy. For one, she may or may not have multiple sclerosis. She claims different doctors tell her different things. Secondly, she's a fan of conspiracy theories. As in, the awkward kinds that don't win you very many PR points, like that Barack Obama organized the Winchester Canyon Gun Club shooting during 2014 as a method to push his anti-gun policies.
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