Kelly Clarkson Talks About Emotional 'Piece by Piece' 'Idol' Performance on 'Ellen'

"I came off in tears almost for a different reason because I was so embarrassed. I was like, 'Oh god, this is my final thing on Idol and I like could not hold it together.' I was almost losing it the entire song. I was proud of myself for making it as far as I did," she said. "My husband knows me well. I came right off stage and he was like, 'Don't ruin it. Don't ruin the moment.' I was like, 'It was so embarrassing!'"

Though Clarkson may have been embarrassed, she had all the reason to be emotional. Beyond the pregnancy hormones and the touching song about finding a father and love after being abandoned by her own dad, she saw her baby girl River Rose Blackstock roaming the same halls she did 15 years ago.

"My daughter was 1-year-old running around the same hallways; I was 19 on the show," she said. "And the song is incredibly sad but hopeful. A lot of us didn't have a bar to set in relationships in any form. My sister and I had this conversation and I wrote this song afterward, about how lucky we are. We both found incredible fathers, lovers and men and partners and everything. I feel really lucky because a lot of girls with daddy issues don't end up happy, they end up going the same."

And the whole Idol appearance was a family affair for the Clarkson-Blackstocks.

"[Husband Brandon Blackstock] was at Idol, my little girl was there, my little boy was turning circles in my stomach. It was nostalgic," Clarkson explained. "It was the last time I was going to be on Idol and it's ending. I was screwed from the get-go. Emotionally, I'm on a slip slide to hell."

Tags

American Idol, Kelly Clarkson