10 Imagined Fragrances By Musicians: Prince, David Bowie, And More

One Direction's new fragrance "You & I" will be released this summer. Boybands have it pretty easy when it comes to trying to sell their fragrance. I mean, what teenybopper wouldn't want to smell like Harry Styles' dreamgirl? Musicians from other genres with older fanbases, however, don't have the luxury of crazed tweens and would probably have a hard time selling more than a few bottles. With that in mind, we decided to compile a list of musicians we'd like to see fragrances from and what those fragrances might smell like.

1. Tom Waits

If you're planning on becoming a rail-riding hobo sometime in the near future, you should pick up a bottle of Tom Waits' "Gin Soaked Boy" to ease the transition. It's basically six types of alcohol with a couple of cigarette butts floating around.

2. Iggy Pop

Iggy Pop's fragrance, with the very intriguing name "Dirt," will make you smell as if you were in the front row of a Stooges concert in 1970, which means you'll smell like sweat, beer, blood, and peanut butter.

3. David Bowie

To celebrate Bowie's insane diet during his 1976 "Thin White Duke" phase, his fragrance "Golden Years" contains the essence of red peppers, milk, and cocaine. Due to the bits of cocaine, this fragrance is illegal pretty much everywhere, but if you actually thought it would smell nice, then you deserve to be thrown in prison.

4. Prince

Prince's perfume captures the scent of two of his favorite things in the entire world: sex, and Chicken McNuggets, which surprisingly go very well together. It has a name, but it contains characters that are impossible to type on a keyboard.

5. Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin's "The Scent Remains The Same" is simply lemon juice that ran down Robert Plant's leg, so you could actually use it for cooking if you wanted to. But seriously, don't cook with this, you'll probably get sick.

6. Björk

Nobody's actually sure what's inside Björk's perfume, which was given a complicated Icelandic name that I don't feel like typing out right now. Apparently she just ran around her house throwing a bunch of random food and cleaning products into a blender. It smells all right, but it could very well give you a rash.

7. The Flaming Lips

The Flaming Lips' "Galactic Stew" is an extremely limited edition perfume that contains 30 mL of Wayne Coyne's blood, though inside the bottle is a flash drive containing a 100-hour song featuring the Insane Clown Posse.

8. Kanye West

Kanye West's new cologne "Breathe In, Breathe Out" is nothing but the essence of Kanye's morning breath captured inside of a tiny glass bottle. It smells surprisingly wonderful, according to Kanye West.

9. Bruce Springsteen

Just one spray of Springsteen's "Tramps" fragrance will give you the aroma of having just worked a long and difficult day down at the carwash, which is some combination of sweat, soap, and exhaust fumes.

10. Bob Marley

Let's cut to the chase: Bob Marley's fragrance smells like weed, though it would probably just be cheaper and more effective to buy some actual weed (which is not something I'm encouraging, unless you live in the states of Colorado or Washington, where marijuana is apparently less dangerous and therefore legal).

Tags

Tom Waits, Iggy Pop, David Bowie, Prince, Led Zeppelin, Bjork, The Flaming Lips, Kanye West, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Marley, One Direction