Halsey revealed in an honest social media post that she frequently questions whether she "chose the wrong life" for themselves. It feels as of the moment that this is not a meaningful path for them.
They are not however, closing doors to finding meaning in this path.
In a thoughtful post on Instagram Stories on Wednesday, the Without Me singer, who uses they/their pronouns, revealed feeling "deep grief" and questioning whether pursuing a music career was the correct decision.
"I find that often there is a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch. a loneliness. an emptiness," Halsey wrote beside a picture of burning candles.
They also revealed that they often wonder if they chose the "wrong life" for themselves. The constant thought about it makes them feel suffocated and have affected their career. They apologized to the fans that they have let their emotions affected their art.
"I'm sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn't served a greater purpose other than my own self loathing."
The singer, who suffers from bipolar disorder, revealed that their forthcoming 28th birthday on September 29 has spurred their moment of introspection.
"I am approaching my 28th birthday in a week and just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18. A breath that was meant to sustain me for a decade," they wrote.
Halsey stated that they have "wandering lawlessly" and expects to rediscover their path "soon" because they want to provide their fans with the customary brave and powerful songs. For a while though, they have been gutted and could not muster the courage.
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Halsey's reflections occur one month after her awful bout of food sickness.
Halsey has stated that she performed last night's (August 26) headlining act at Leeds Festival while suffering from "severe food illness," adding, "I have no idea how I'm still alive."
The singer and The 1975 co-headlined the opening night of the Yorkshire festival, and she took to social media this morning (August 27) to describe the "messed up conditions" under which she performed.
Halsey remarked on their Instagram Stories that they have have no idea how they will still alive after my Leeds performance. They shared that it happened at 2:00 p.m the day before, and they miraculously made it on stage (thanks to the festival's medical staff)!"
They said they have performed under less than ideal conditions before, but last night may have been the worst in recent memory.
Constantly they felt like they were somehow transported to Jupiter.
In a subsequent post, they shared footage of herself in the medical tent of the festival, characterizing the situation as extraordinarily not fucking cool" but they felt grateful to be alive.
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