Willie Nelson Still Grapples With Son's Death Decades Later: 'We Didn't Have to Talk About It'

Willie Nelson's upcoming documentary series "Willie Nelson & Family" shares insight into the singer's struggles after his son's death.

The "On the Road Again" singer mourned and continues to mourn the death of his first child, Billie, who died by suicide on Christmas Day in 1991.

"When Billy passed, it was terribly hard on him - on all of us. It was really hard for him because that was his first son," said Paula, Nelson's daughter with his third wife Connie Koepke.

Elsewhere in the documentary series, Nelson's other daughter, Lana, revealed that Billie struggled with depression. "He didn't want to be depressed, he didn't want to be that guy. He tried really hard, he did."

Willie Nelson Mourns Son's Death Decades Later

Despite the tragedy the Nelson family endured, family members explain that they became closer, but did not really discuss Billie's death.

"It's not that we had long talks about our grief - that's not Willie's way," said Bobbie, the singer's sister. "We didn't have to talk about it. We knew."

Billie was Nelson's child with his first wife Martha, along with Lana and Susie.

"We did everything together, but he had a lot of issues," Susie said, noting that her brother and she were 17 months apart and inseparable. "They became more and more."

Willie Nelson Leans on Music

Elsehwere in "Willie Nelson & Family," the "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" singer shared his profound love for music and performing.

"Right now, we're on the road again. I'm not sure how many gigs we've played so far, but it's a whole bunch, and we don't seem to be slowing down," he said.

However, the singer did delve into his mental state, which has fluctuated over the years.

"I would get drunk every night and go home with someone different every night. [I was] slowly self-destructing. I really didn't care," he recalled.

"Back in my drinking days, I tried to commit suicide a couple of times," he added.

"One time in the dead of winter I was so down on myself I laid down in the middle of the street hoping a car would run over me. No such luck. I had to get up off my ass and kept on trying to figure out how to make a living."

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Willie Nelson, Documentary